Am I a Writer?

By: Suv Pradhan

I love writing; playing with words, jotting down feelings and just expressing myself. I always have, ever since I was a little child, ever since I discovered the joy in writing. This might be the case because I find peace in words or peace with words. When I’m writing, I am being myself, I’m expressing myself and the best thing is that I feel belonged. Yet, till recently, I had never taken my writing seriously for until sometimes ago, it was just a hobby that was to be discarded once I found my thing.

But most of the people who know me agree that writing is my thing. Lately, even I have been thinking about it. I have always believed that I was an artist in heart. I always have been an expressionist. But then, I cannot express myself through paintings or music. I totally suck at painting and drawing, I do not know a single chord of any musical instruments, only I think that my voice is good and worse, I hate performing in a stage hence I’m no actor or dancer. So the only thing I like to do and am comfortable in doing is writing. That’s why I’m starting to think that may be writing is my thing. Even when I think of my ideal life, I see myself sitting in a café, probably drinking coffee and writing. On the top of that, I have always wanted to publish few novels and collections of my poems. So may be. Writing is definitely my thing or is it???

But then there are other stuffs that make me think otherwise. Firstly, I’m studying a subject that’s far from the one that involves writing; at least creative ones. Secondly, I think I’m getting old to chase that dream. That’s what I think, because most of the people of my age with whom I started writing work in various publication houses across the town while I don’t even publish what I write. The only ones left are juniors who are still in high school and are probably better than me. Hence, I don’t think I’ll make it through writing. This in turn gets me thinking, “Does that still make me a writer?”